From the journals of Cap'n Jonas Porksword
Fifth, March in the Year of our Lord, Two-Thousand and Ten:

Despite the setbacks I've encountered on this voyage, today I am elated. Some treasure was found in the form of a new assignment, so we may not have to scuttle the old Money Shot just yet.

Crackers, ever the negative bird, had only this to say:

"SQUAWK! It'll all end in tears!"

So decided to carve out some of what they call "me-time" on deck this afternoon. After sending the churls down below, I had my fiddlers come out and I had a bang-up of a time dancing with the figurehead to some of my favorite sea chantys.

I did suffer a splinter as I performed some acrobatic hip and hop-like maneouvers, but they hardly reduced me to tears.

Fooey on you, Crackers. The celebration continues.


Sea Chanty of the Day:

Head under water,
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while.
The breathing gets harder, even I know that.

- Madame Sara Bareilles