From the journals of Cap'n Jonas Porksword
Ninth, March in the Year of our Lord, Two-Thousand and Ten:
I've been struck down for the last few sea-days with a stomach bilge as crippling as saltpetre on the tallywacker. I'm not sure where I contracted this vile disease, but it's laid me low, even though I had a bit of pervy fun in the community showers at the landlubber's gym, and then dipped me wick in my old cabin boy.

Still, I'd kill for some salty crackers and not the evil imaginary voice of Crackers as my stomach heaves to and fro like a dinghy in a storm.

Sea Chanty of the Day:
Like a wave you keep pulling me under
How I'll ever get out of this, i dont know
I just know that there's no way to fight it..
Whoa...oh...
- Dame Belinda Carlisle